After Care Explained!
Aftercare is the attending to the emotional and physical needs once a scene is over. But what does that involve? Learn how to give and receive healing aftercare and what you should do in the event you are taking care of yourself after play.
Aftercare isn't just for bottoms and submissives — tops and dominants need love and care, too.
Next to a safeword AfterCare is very important in scene play. Many of these sessions can be emotionally (not only physically) exhausting and draining. Talk to your partner(s) about their specific needs. Make sure to get as in-depth as possible. Some basic things you should know about your partner include triggers and what they typically like as a form of aftercare.
Aftercare generally helps the other party get out of the Dom/sub space and Different partners require different kinds of aftercare. Don’t assume that since you have experience with one partner that you know how to care for another. You should know your partners medical and psychological state If your partner has diabetes, be sure to note that, as blood sugar levels can drop dramatically during pain-play. If your partner has a past injury that tends to flare up, establish what treatment should be done for it. In addition, if your partner has PTSD or other mental health concerns, you should be aware of how they are calmed in situations where they are triggered. Everyone responds differently, so ask these questions and take notes–literally, if need be! The point is to bring your partner back to reality, where they are respected and valued. This is something you should have learned in the negoations.
I say aftercare is required, but you might find yourself feeling perfectly fine after a scene. This is totally fine, too. Both/all parties should still check in with each other in order to establish that everyone is okay. Most of the times one party involved will need that aftercare or they will drop hard.
Keep in mind that aftercare is not specific for submissives. Dominants need it, too! It is not uncommon for a Dominant, especially a newer Dominant, to require aftercare. Sadism, especially, can trigger Dominants to experience intrusive negative thoughts about themselves after a scene. (They may feel like monsters–like they abused their submissive.) The submissive, in this case, should be just as attentive to their Dominant as their Dominant should be to them.
Aftercare doesn’t have to be difficult. In fact, the most common forms of aftercare are so simple that you might not even recognize them as a form of aftercare! each person is different in there needs, but after care is important.
here are some examples of easy aftercare
1.Cuddling this is one of the easiest forms of after care just holding someone close making sure they are safe
2.Kissing while a form of intemency it can make some pop out of it for others it's the affection that helps
3. Thanking your partner for Dominating, submitting or various acts involved this is reassurance they did a good job.
4.Talking about the scene and discussing any problems that occurred and the things that really made you happy. This is important in multiple ways not only is it reassurance, but it also let's the other know what you like and dislike so you can have a better exprence if you scene again. This let's them know you paid attention.
5.Getting your partner a drink or snack. This is imprtant in more ways than one not only will it help calm down in some cases it could be a need with diabities and blood sugar as well as other types of medical needs
6.Giving your partner a relaxing massage. This could help with soreness that occurs in the scene and helps to relax your partner calming them down.
Having a bottle of water, a small snack, some lotion, first aid supplies, or stuffed animal can really help make aftercare easier in a pinch!
It’s important to talk to your partner about aftercare. Tell them you want to know how to be a good partner to them. Make a list of things they like to experience after a scene, if that helps. Be sure to have a plan of action before any problems arise after a scene. It can be terrifying to have a partner going through distress after a scene and having no clue how to help. Avoid this by talking about their needs before the scene begins, and just because you know what one person needs in one scene doesn't mean it's the same for the next scene. Each plan for after care should be tailored towards the scene such as if you do a scene involving forms of whipping where you leave marks which needs to require some form of medical aftercare would not be the same after care if it's a puppy play scene where you have them walking on all fours.