bdsm collars explained
You've probably seen a BDSM collar, also called a bondage collar, and wondered what it is, what does it mean, and why do people wear them?
Or maybe you are considering a collar yourself.
What is a BDSM Collar?
Simply put, a BDSM collar is a piece of jewelry with a meaning. Traditionally, a BDSM collar is something worn about the neck, like a necklace or a choker.
Historically, bondage collars were thick bands of black leather or PVC worn tight to the neck, choker style, with a large D or O ring to the front. They often were secured on with a lock, and were only removed by the dominant party of the relationship.
Today, BDSM collars range from the traditional leather look, to dainty pendant necklaces and simple chains. You've probably seen people wear these without knowing.
The meaning of the collar is something that is highly debated in the BDSM community, because of it's personal nature.
For some couples, the collar is simply a sign of their relationship to the BDSM community. Typically, only one party in a BDSM relationship will wear a collar, the Submissive. This is called being "Owned". This type of collar is only worn to BDSM community events to signify to those looking for a partner that the Sub is off limits and not available for anything without permission of the Dom.
Here are some examples of other types of collars.
Collars of Consideration
While not used universally, a collar of consideration is a popular choice for new relationships. You may see it primarily in Master/slave relationships, but not always. The definition is quite literal. When you wear this collar, it means you’re under consideration to be your partner’s slave or submissive. Think of it like a stepping stone collar. You can move up to a permanent collar if you both decide the relationship works or you can remove it if the relationship isn’t what you want.
Training Collars
In some kinky relationships, the next step after a collar of consideration is a training collar. Other kinksters might start with a training collar and ignore the collar of consideration. These collars are typically worn by slaves while they’re being trained. It’s a symbol of where they are in the process of their D/s relationship. Once training is complete or your Dominant feels like you’re properly trained, you may “level up” to a new type of collar.
Protection Collars
To most people in BDSM, collars symbolize ownership and protection of some sort. Many kinksters will see a collared submissive and assume they “belong” to someone. A protection collar affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by most other single Dominants without as much responsibility as someone in a training collar or collar of consideration. Don’t make light of this collar, though. While it’s worn, it signifies that a Dominant takes some kind of responsibility for the submissive wearing it. At the same time, that submissive represents the Dom providing protection.
Play Collars
A play collar may be the most relaxed kind of collar of the bunch. This is the one you wear during a kinky scene.
Day Collars
For the kinksters who want to collar or be collared, the day collar is extremely useful. It’s often a piece of jewelry that can pass in the vanilla world. You and your partner know it’s a collar and what meaning it holds, but no one else does. You don’t have to deal with awkward questions but also don’t have to give up an important symbol of your kinky relationship. Some submissives have multiple styles so they’re always collared but have a look for every occasion. While I don’t have an official day collar, I do have a locking necklace that I never take off and is pretty enough to get plenty of compliments.
Permanent Collars
A permanent collar, for some D/s relationships, symbolizes your status as a permanent D/s couple and is as binding as a wedding band. For some people, a permanent collar is a piece of jewelry that can be taken off but isn’t. For others, their collar has a locking mechanism and their Dominant has the key. This type of collar typically doesn’t come off for any reason. If it’s taken off, it can mean the relationship is over or you’re taking a break from the D/s side of things.
Not everyone places a lot of importance or symbolism on collars. But many people do. It’s important to discuss how you feel about collars with your partner. If one of you considers it as serious as marriage and the other whips it off after every fight, you’re likely going to experience a big disconnect between you that may be hard to resolve. Part of that discussion is having an understanding of what different kinds of collars mean to you.
Some people wear a traditional collar 24/7 while others only wear it in private at home or at private bdsm events.
Before undertaking any type of collaring you should always have a talk amoung all parties involved to let each other know what you want in the collar.
Or maybe you are considering a collar yourself.
What is a BDSM Collar?
Simply put, a BDSM collar is a piece of jewelry with a meaning. Traditionally, a BDSM collar is something worn about the neck, like a necklace or a choker.
Historically, bondage collars were thick bands of black leather or PVC worn tight to the neck, choker style, with a large D or O ring to the front. They often were secured on with a lock, and were only removed by the dominant party of the relationship.
Today, BDSM collars range from the traditional leather look, to dainty pendant necklaces and simple chains. You've probably seen people wear these without knowing.
The meaning of the collar is something that is highly debated in the BDSM community, because of it's personal nature.
For some couples, the collar is simply a sign of their relationship to the BDSM community. Typically, only one party in a BDSM relationship will wear a collar, the Submissive. This is called being "Owned". This type of collar is only worn to BDSM community events to signify to those looking for a partner that the Sub is off limits and not available for anything without permission of the Dom.
Here are some examples of other types of collars.
Collars of Consideration
While not used universally, a collar of consideration is a popular choice for new relationships. You may see it primarily in Master/slave relationships, but not always. The definition is quite literal. When you wear this collar, it means you’re under consideration to be your partner’s slave or submissive. Think of it like a stepping stone collar. You can move up to a permanent collar if you both decide the relationship works or you can remove it if the relationship isn’t what you want.
Training Collars
In some kinky relationships, the next step after a collar of consideration is a training collar. Other kinksters might start with a training collar and ignore the collar of consideration. These collars are typically worn by slaves while they’re being trained. It’s a symbol of where they are in the process of their D/s relationship. Once training is complete or your Dominant feels like you’re properly trained, you may “level up” to a new type of collar.
Protection Collars
To most people in BDSM, collars symbolize ownership and protection of some sort. Many kinksters will see a collared submissive and assume they “belong” to someone. A protection collar affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by most other single Dominants without as much responsibility as someone in a training collar or collar of consideration. Don’t make light of this collar, though. While it’s worn, it signifies that a Dominant takes some kind of responsibility for the submissive wearing it. At the same time, that submissive represents the Dom providing protection.
Play Collars
A play collar may be the most relaxed kind of collar of the bunch. This is the one you wear during a kinky scene.
Day Collars
For the kinksters who want to collar or be collared, the day collar is extremely useful. It’s often a piece of jewelry that can pass in the vanilla world. You and your partner know it’s a collar and what meaning it holds, but no one else does. You don’t have to deal with awkward questions but also don’t have to give up an important symbol of your kinky relationship. Some submissives have multiple styles so they’re always collared but have a look for every occasion. While I don’t have an official day collar, I do have a locking necklace that I never take off and is pretty enough to get plenty of compliments.
Permanent Collars
A permanent collar, for some D/s relationships, symbolizes your status as a permanent D/s couple and is as binding as a wedding band. For some people, a permanent collar is a piece of jewelry that can be taken off but isn’t. For others, their collar has a locking mechanism and their Dominant has the key. This type of collar typically doesn’t come off for any reason. If it’s taken off, it can mean the relationship is over or you’re taking a break from the D/s side of things.
Not everyone places a lot of importance or symbolism on collars. But many people do. It’s important to discuss how you feel about collars with your partner. If one of you considers it as serious as marriage and the other whips it off after every fight, you’re likely going to experience a big disconnect between you that may be hard to resolve. Part of that discussion is having an understanding of what different kinds of collars mean to you.
Some people wear a traditional collar 24/7 while others only wear it in private at home or at private bdsm events.
Before undertaking any type of collaring you should always have a talk amoung all parties involved to let each other know what you want in the collar.