Munches Explained
A munch is a casual social gathering of people with an interest in BDSM so that they can eat and socialize. Munches are generally held at a restaurant, pub, or other public places.
Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle in real life, rather than online. You can meet people, make contacts, ask questions, and just enjoy your time out without worrying about keeping your secret desires secret any longer. This is most often the place where cross dressers can ‘come out’, so to speak, and appear in makeup and outfits that reflect their lifestyle, without negative comments. As the comfort level grows, they can graduate from ‘pretty lingerie’ (if they are M to F), to full dress and makeup
Finding a location is harder than it sounds. Many munches move from place to place once the owners or staff of the restaurant find out what the group is about. This is generally due to the public being fed false information about what BDSM truly is.
Here are a few helpful things for a munch.
1.Don't drink to much. This is one of the biggest things next to creeping at a munch. If you drink to much especially as a newbie you will in some eyes look unsafe even if your body is able to tolerate it. The appropriate number is 0-1 drinks having one will not kill you, but more is to much regardless of where the munch is.
2.Don't talk entirely about your fetish. It can be awesome to be around people that don't hide the things they're into. It's so liberating! Time to talk about all the things YOU like? You have to listen as much if not more than you talk, if you stick to one topic people may wonder whether your fetish is an obsession, and it can seem bizarre to have only sexual interests. When first getting to know people, it may be better to treat a fetish like any other hobby, and only go into lengthy detail with a fellow enthusiast or curious person who actively wants to hear more.
3.Don't be a creeper. Don't go around asking anyone with two legs to play with you as this is generally frowned upon. A munch is there to get to know each other. It's best to let it happen naturally, but if you become a creeper chances are you won't be welcomed back.
4.Don't scare the hell out of people.
Fair or not, there are certain things that society associates with danger. For example, if you say, "I love knives! Collect them" to someone who hasn't mentioned being a fan of knife play and/or a survival enthusiast. Try as you might to explain that the knives are optional, once someone thinks you want to literally wear their skin, it's hard to build up that trust.
5.Admiting your interests.
Going into detail about things that would gross out or terrify the average person is not the best idea, but if you never mention what you're into at all you're never going to know that the person across from you (or their roommates sister cousin) is interested in the same thing. Even if someone doesn't share enough of your fetishes to be compatible as a partner, they might make a good friend.
6.Don't be afraid to say no.
Always stand up for your own boundaries, no matter how minor something seems or is made to seem you could run into trouble. Small mistakes or boundary violations can quickly escalate in BDSM. while drinking and people are not sober just say no and keep saying it. Whatever your age, gender, or inclination, if something is wrong and/or you don't want to do it, don't do it.
7.As the munches are in a vanilla setting, most do not allow scening or obvious fetishwear. There is, of course, a huge range of interpretations for these two rules.
8.No one is allowed to touch or pester you without your permission. Tell the offending party that you do not consent to their behavior. Say ‘no’ or ‘red’ if it bothers you. If it does not stop, speak with the hosts of the munch about the person bothering you. If the hosts are not available, say ‘red’ loudly. Any Dom who hears that will generally come to your rescue. Don’t forget to tell the hosts what happened as soon as possible so they can follow up.
Each munch is different so it is best to get the rules from the munch organizers to avoid any confusion.
Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle in real life, rather than online. You can meet people, make contacts, ask questions, and just enjoy your time out without worrying about keeping your secret desires secret any longer. This is most often the place where cross dressers can ‘come out’, so to speak, and appear in makeup and outfits that reflect their lifestyle, without negative comments. As the comfort level grows, they can graduate from ‘pretty lingerie’ (if they are M to F), to full dress and makeup
Finding a location is harder than it sounds. Many munches move from place to place once the owners or staff of the restaurant find out what the group is about. This is generally due to the public being fed false information about what BDSM truly is.
Here are a few helpful things for a munch.
1.Don't drink to much. This is one of the biggest things next to creeping at a munch. If you drink to much especially as a newbie you will in some eyes look unsafe even if your body is able to tolerate it. The appropriate number is 0-1 drinks having one will not kill you, but more is to much regardless of where the munch is.
2.Don't talk entirely about your fetish. It can be awesome to be around people that don't hide the things they're into. It's so liberating! Time to talk about all the things YOU like? You have to listen as much if not more than you talk, if you stick to one topic people may wonder whether your fetish is an obsession, and it can seem bizarre to have only sexual interests. When first getting to know people, it may be better to treat a fetish like any other hobby, and only go into lengthy detail with a fellow enthusiast or curious person who actively wants to hear more.
3.Don't be a creeper. Don't go around asking anyone with two legs to play with you as this is generally frowned upon. A munch is there to get to know each other. It's best to let it happen naturally, but if you become a creeper chances are you won't be welcomed back.
4.Don't scare the hell out of people.
Fair or not, there are certain things that society associates with danger. For example, if you say, "I love knives! Collect them" to someone who hasn't mentioned being a fan of knife play and/or a survival enthusiast. Try as you might to explain that the knives are optional, once someone thinks you want to literally wear their skin, it's hard to build up that trust.
5.Admiting your interests.
Going into detail about things that would gross out or terrify the average person is not the best idea, but if you never mention what you're into at all you're never going to know that the person across from you (or their roommates sister cousin) is interested in the same thing. Even if someone doesn't share enough of your fetishes to be compatible as a partner, they might make a good friend.
6.Don't be afraid to say no.
Always stand up for your own boundaries, no matter how minor something seems or is made to seem you could run into trouble. Small mistakes or boundary violations can quickly escalate in BDSM. while drinking and people are not sober just say no and keep saying it. Whatever your age, gender, or inclination, if something is wrong and/or you don't want to do it, don't do it.
7.As the munches are in a vanilla setting, most do not allow scening or obvious fetishwear. There is, of course, a huge range of interpretations for these two rules.
8.No one is allowed to touch or pester you without your permission. Tell the offending party that you do not consent to their behavior. Say ‘no’ or ‘red’ if it bothers you. If it does not stop, speak with the hosts of the munch about the person bothering you. If the hosts are not available, say ‘red’ loudly. Any Dom who hears that will generally come to your rescue. Don’t forget to tell the hosts what happened as soon as possible so they can follow up.
Each munch is different so it is best to get the rules from the munch organizers to avoid any confusion.