bdsm contracts explained
WHAT ARE BDSM CONTRACTS?
It’s a document/agreement within any kind of power exchange or BDSM play. More importantly, it’s a useful way to open up the lines of communication and negotiate the terms of relationship. They can be simple as a handwritten page all the way to an infinite page document complete with legal jargon.
WHY HAVE THEM?
They are meant to establish clear rules, boundaries, limits, punishments etc.,They define goals in the relationship,They guide your relationship (whether short or long term), They create moral authority, and Extend the role play aspect. no one wants to be taken off guard with an unreasonable punishment or something they can’t cope with (or worse, something traumatic). We don’t want conflicting behaviors and confusing situations - which is an important reason to have a contract.
ARE BDSM CONTRACTS LEGAL?
Despite what the short Buzzfeed video will suggestion, they are NOT. “Consensual slavery” isn’t a legally binding thing. You can’t take your slave to court because they didn’t suck your dick on a Wednesday or they want to permanently stop things (but you want them to stay).
HOW DO I MAKE ONE?
It really depends on how formal and in-depth your relationship is.It can be one or two sentences on a bar napkin, a verbal agreement over coffee, or an infinite-page document stamped by a notary and then signed in blood in front of a witness at a collaring ceremony. Is it just a “light” contract because you’re trying to spice up your marriage? Or a dom/sub, master/slave, online, pet, scene only, or 24/7 lifestyle agreement? The more formal contracts don’t make the BDSM relationship more valid than any other.
SOME THINGS TO INCLUDE:
Play term (how long - days/weeks/years)
Safe words, soft limits, hard limits, must limits.
Rights, responsibilities, and expectations of both parties exptcwions or special circumstances Punishments and rewards Roles of Master and slave External participants (if any)Areas of control Language and phrasing Terms of termination Collaring (if applicable) and promises of discretion.
WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS?
Communications is the most important thing it helps build trust. If you don't understand something don't hesitate to ask questions about it. Another key factor is trust. If you don't trust the other person you should not be entering into a contract period. Safety is a third key factor everything should be safe in BDSM and if you feel something is not safe then do not put it in the contract.
It’s a document/agreement within any kind of power exchange or BDSM play. More importantly, it’s a useful way to open up the lines of communication and negotiate the terms of relationship. They can be simple as a handwritten page all the way to an infinite page document complete with legal jargon.
WHY HAVE THEM?
They are meant to establish clear rules, boundaries, limits, punishments etc.,They define goals in the relationship,They guide your relationship (whether short or long term), They create moral authority, and Extend the role play aspect. no one wants to be taken off guard with an unreasonable punishment or something they can’t cope with (or worse, something traumatic). We don’t want conflicting behaviors and confusing situations - which is an important reason to have a contract.
ARE BDSM CONTRACTS LEGAL?
Despite what the short Buzzfeed video will suggestion, they are NOT. “Consensual slavery” isn’t a legally binding thing. You can’t take your slave to court because they didn’t suck your dick on a Wednesday or they want to permanently stop things (but you want them to stay).
HOW DO I MAKE ONE?
It really depends on how formal and in-depth your relationship is.It can be one or two sentences on a bar napkin, a verbal agreement over coffee, or an infinite-page document stamped by a notary and then signed in blood in front of a witness at a collaring ceremony. Is it just a “light” contract because you’re trying to spice up your marriage? Or a dom/sub, master/slave, online, pet, scene only, or 24/7 lifestyle agreement? The more formal contracts don’t make the BDSM relationship more valid than any other.
SOME THINGS TO INCLUDE:
Play term (how long - days/weeks/years)
Safe words, soft limits, hard limits, must limits.
Rights, responsibilities, and expectations of both parties exptcwions or special circumstances Punishments and rewards Roles of Master and slave External participants (if any)Areas of control Language and phrasing Terms of termination Collaring (if applicable) and promises of discretion.
WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS?
Communications is the most important thing it helps build trust. If you don't understand something don't hesitate to ask questions about it. Another key factor is trust. If you don't trust the other person you should not be entering into a contract period. Safety is a third key factor everything should be safe in BDSM and if you feel something is not safe then do not put it in the contract.